The Power of Positivity
The right way to discipline, we spend a lot of time and energy talking about that. To punish or not to punish? To spank or not to spank? We also spend a lot of time debating that issue. But do we ever really talk about “catching” our children in the midst of wonderful behavior? Or even good behavior, for that matter? How about a little time spent discussing the power of praise?
We tend to focus on coping with problems rather than our actual relationships with children. Maybe it’s time to shift our focus from doing things “to” or “for” our kids, to doing things with them. We can respond to misbehaviors with a punitive consequence, or we can use these as opportunities or teaching moments. Helping our children learn to figure out what is wrong and also how to fix it, is actually far more logical than handing down punishments for misbehaviors or even rewards for desirable ones.
How about shifting this focus to praising our children? No reward or trinket for behaving desirably, just praise, plain and simple. “Wow! Good job! Awesome!” Is that really so hard? No, it really isn’t. Praising our children should come naturally, even more naturally than yelling at them. Giving out rewards and handing down punishments are far less effective for tiny brains than the mere act of recognizing the behavior we want and praising the one doing it.
Easy enough, right? Yes! Get out there and give an “Super!” or a “Way to go!” whenever possible. Surely we can find ways to “catch” our kids doing something right, and a little bit of praise will turn into more and more of the behavior we are hoping for. Peace.
1 in 5 New York Kids Are Sexually Abused. Help Prevent That
The CDC reports that 1 in 5 children are sexually abused.
9 out of 10 of the perpetrators are never brought to justice and never appear on sex offender registries.
They are protected by New York State laws.
Sign this petition and change that. Protect NY Kids.
Editor, Ask Lala
Laura Fogarty writes “Ask Lala” for the Stop Abuse Campaign. She is a mother, an advocate, and the author of two children’s abuse prevention books: I’M THE BOSS OF ME! and WE ARE JUST ALIKE!
Laura has an ACE score of 7.