Stop Abuse Campaign
148 West 127th Street, #2, New York, NY 10027
Stop Abuse Campaign Capitol Hill Briefing Focuses on Stopping the Cycle of Abuse and Violence
Washington, DC —With a message of, “We are here to help,” anti-abuse and anti-violence organizations joined with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the Victim’s Right Caucus to brief Capitol Hill on the wide extent and massive costs of abuse in today’s society. The event at the Rayburn House Office Building was hosted by the Stop Abuse Campaign (www.stopabusecampaign.org ), and Reps. Ted Poe (R-TX) and Jim Costa (D-CA), co-chairs of the Congressional Victims’ Rights Caucus. “In our efforts to prevent injuries and violence, the CDC is currently partnering and looking to do public/private partnerships to end violence in the community,” said Dr. Linda Degutis, Director of the National Center for Injury Prevention and Control at the CDC. “It takes a whole community to prevent violence and our effort involves a multi-disciplinary approach. We do know that prevention and partnerships are critical to ending violence.” Andrew Willis, CEO of the Stop Abuse Campaign applauded the work of the CDC as well as the role of many organizations who have been working on the many facets of the cycle of abuse. “Abuse is a combination of dangerous attitudes and behaviors, including deliberate, physical, sexual, emotional and financial abuse of the weak by the strong. It must be stopped,” added Willis. “All abuse and violence is interconnected,” said Robert Geffner, Ph.D., co-chair of the The National Partnership to End Interpersonal Violence Across the Lifespan (NPEIV) and President of the Institute on Violence, Abuse and Trauma at Alliant International University. “We must focus on prevention and education so that everyone can feel safe in their own homes, feel safe in their schools, feel safe on their streets, and feel safe in their communities,”said Geffner. “If we don’t act now, the statistics on abuse and violence will continue to grow.” Two speakers reminded the audience of their personal stories of abuse and violence, and the work they’re doing to stop abuse. MIldred Muhammad, former wife of convicted and executed DC Sniper and a survivor of interpersonal violence, reminded the audience that a victim of abuse doesn’t always have physical scars, but is still very much a victim. “Eighty percent of victims of abuse do not have scars to prove it,” said Muhammad, “but we stand with them.” Chris Anderson, executive director of Male Survivor brought his message that, “Healing and hope are possible for all survivors, but every surivor needs support.” Anderson, himself a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, emphasized that what happened to him, can happen to anyone. “Not only can the abuse happen,” said Anderson, “but the healing can happen too.”
Abusers follow patterns
There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.
CPS: Re abusing the powerless victims of child abuse
If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.
What does safe feel like?
Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.
A beautiful lie about child abuse
We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.
Re-abusing children in court
Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges
Stopping murders with The Quincy Solution
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Is spanking, abuse?
When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.
Paying billions to be abused
Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.
The Quincy Solution
The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.
Sign and support the Safe Child Act
The health and safety of children must be the first priority
The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?
What’s your ACE score??
Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.
Suffer the children. Custody courts take no mercy
An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.
Why do people abuse?
This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?
Who’s lap is your child sitting on?
Forcing physical contact between our children and adults, whether the adults are our friends, or relatives, or giant bunnies at the mall, is just not a good practice. When we force physical affection of any sort on our children, we set a dangerous precedent. We teach our children that their instincts are not valid.
Accepting the risk of a new relationship is slow for survivors
After an abusive relationship, entering a new intimate relationship takes a leap of faith and a healthy dose of trust in yourself. One participant in our research said about finding love again, “I NEVER thought I could do that again.” However, the stories of many of the participants in our research demonstrate that finding safe, healthy love after abuse is possible.
Are we better than our parents at this?
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Remembering Maggie and Finding A Way to Move On
Maggie’s friends and family were alarmed to realize that although Maggie’s ex-boyfriend had never physically abused or threatened her prior to the murder, he had committed many acts of verbal, emotional and psychological abuse, including refusing to accept the end of their relationship.
Battered Mothers Custody Conference
Register now for the Eleventh Battered Mothers Custody Conference. The BMCC XI Hands Across the Water!
The First International Battered Mothers Custody Conference.
The Rehoming of Rep. Harris
Living with a child with RAD is extremely difficult. And appropriate treatments do not include seclusion or so many of the things witnesses report from that home. The best solution is to give the adoptive parents what they need to be good parents. State agencies are notoriously bad at this. And this leads to kids with RAD being “re-homed”
Abstaining from relationships after abuse
Our series this month focuses on the challenges that survivors may face in creating and maintaining safe, healthy relationships following their experiences of past abuse. However, alongside this focus, we want to provide validation and support for survivors who choose–either temporarily or permanently–to abstain from seeking or participating in intimate relationships.
A Turning Point In The War On Women
In this video Sandra Eagle suggest that the hearing to address the Connecticut Family Court Problems was part of the problem, and that becoming conscious of that, and making a change that supports victims being heard first, in sensitivity to the role of mothers, would be a paradigm shift that could seed a turning point in the war on women.
We were very excited to hear from those who had overcome abusive relationships about how exactly they were able to end the unhealthy relationships and go on to establish a life free of abuse.