subscribe: Posts | Comments

RECENT FROM Safe Homes

Hiding their sins?

Hiding their sins?

The Seattle Diocese recently released the names of 77 priests credibly accused of sexually abusing children. The release was years after advocates recommended that course of action, but it wasn’t forced by court order, either. It’s good PR, but the Church still has much to hide.

RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution

Family Courts Exposed

Family Courts Exposed

The Boston Globe recently did a major story on the dysfunction in America’s family court. This expose only tells a fraction of the story, and this piece provides context to better understand the issue and its history.

RECENT FROM Pro Player Insiders

Tackling Child Sexual Abu...

Tackling Child Sexual Abuse

Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders and Andrew Willis of the Stop Abuse Campaign tackle the topic of child sexual abuse with the creator of the ACE study Dr. Felitti, survivor and advocate Matt Sandusky, survivor and filmmaker Johnna Janis, clinical & forensic psychologist Cheryl Arutt and former NFL player Al Chesley.

Surviving Myself

Staring into the bright clinical lights of the Very Intensive Care Unit in a hospital far from home. I’d swallowed 300 Tylenol PM and wished the world goodbye. Almost a week before. It was so predictable and therefore preventable. I tell the story for Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Surviving Myself
posted on: Mar 29, 2015 | author: admin

Abusers follow patterns

There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.

Abusers follow patterns
posted on: Sep 10, 2014 | author: admin

CPS: Re abusing the powerless victims...

If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.

CPS: Re abusing the powerless victims of child abuse
posted on: Aug 23, 2014 | author: admin

What does safe feel like?

Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.

What does safe feel like?
posted on: Aug 20, 2014 | author: admin

A beautiful lie about child abuse

We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.

A beautiful lie about child abuse
posted on: Aug 13, 2014 | author: admin

Re-abusing children in court

Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges

Re-abusing children in court
posted on: Aug 7, 2014 | author: admin

Why hitting a child is legal

Related posts: No related...

Why hitting a child is legal
posted on: Jul 26, 2014 | author: admin

Stopping murders with The Quincy Solu...

Related posts: No related...

Stopping murders with The Quincy Solution
posted on: Jul 14, 2014 | author: admin

How stopping abuse saves billions

It is important for businesses to understand the enormous benefits the Quincy Solution provides to the business community. Today many are unaware of the money that can be saved by ending our tolerance for men’s abuse of women.

How stopping abuse saves billions
posted on: Jun 23, 2014 | author: admin

Is spanking, abuse?

When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.

Is spanking, abuse?
posted on: Jun 9, 2014 | author: admin

Paying billions to be abused

Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.

Paying billions to be abused
posted on: May 19, 2014 | author: admin

The Quincy Solution

The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.

The Quincy Solution
posted on: May 12, 2014 | author: admin

Sign and support the Safe Child Act

The health and safety of children must be the first priority

The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?

Sign and support the Safe Child Act
posted on: Mar 29, 2014 | author: admin

What’s your ACE score??

Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.

What’s your ACE score??
posted on: Mar 5, 2014 | author: admin

Suffer the children. Custody courts t...

An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.

Suffer the children. Custody courts take no mercy
posted on: Jan 4, 2014 | author: admin

Why do people abuse?

This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?

Why do people abuse?
posted on: Jul 23, 2013 | author: admin

Child Abuse Changes the Brain

Child abuse – The brain changer  Science now shows how the abused children develop differently and grow up with...

Child Abuse Changes the Brain
posted on: Dec 9, 2011 | author: admin

Tiny addicts

As opiate addiction rises in the United States, so does the rise in infants born addicted to the drugs. The proposed solution- ensuring consistent reporting to CPS after these babies are born- is not likely to prove effective. CPS has some fundamental flaws and is consistently over-burdened. Maternal home visiting is a very good solution to the problem, and is being completely ignored.

Tiny addicts
posted on: Dec 27, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

A Public Nuisance

The Diocese of Rockville Center is being sued under public nuisance statutes for not disclosing the names of 66 priests credibly accused of sexually abusing children, and one of the is accused of abusing another minor. While this is a victory for advocates against child sexual abuse, it it horrible that “nuisance” statutes are the only laws that can be used to protect children in this circumstance.

A Public Nuisance
posted on: Dec 23, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Public Accountability in Family Court

Our civic culture is premised on trust. People must believe that the government is doing its job, and if it isn’t, that the culprit(s) will be held accountable. That is why on June 24, 2015, when Gorcyca sent the three Tsimhoni children to juvenile hall for contempt of court, people around the world took to social media to protest her actions.

Public Accountability in Family Court
posted on: Dec 18, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Holiday Stress

The holidays are supposed to be joyous. But they are undeniably stressful. There are things you can do to mitigate the effect of the stress on kids, and on yourself.

Holiday Stress
posted on: Dec 18, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Christmas Present

Survivors of child abuse learn to survive by not being present in their own bodies and in their relationships with other people. This is useful while surviving abuse, but it is harmful to adult relationships. Survivors can learn to live in the present, if they’re mindful of learning from their past

Christmas Present
posted on: Dec 17, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Kelly Rutherford’s Children Los...

In the name of “best interests of the child” Kelly Rutherford’s children have been separated from their primary attachment figure and sent to live overseas. This was not in their best interest, and modern research proves that. Kelly’s case illustrates so much of what is wrong with custody courts.

Kelly Rutherford’s Children Lose Custody Case
posted on: Dec 16, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

We Must Prevent Abuse

Every major metropolitan area in NY has reported a horrifying act of child abuse within a one-week period. New York refuses to invest in Healthy Families NY, which does an excellent job of preventing much abuse from starting. We cannot be shocked at the horrific consequences of abuse when we refuse to prevent it.

We Must Prevent Abuse
posted on: Dec 14, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Mandated Reporters

In two months, three teachers in the same Florida school were arrested for not reporting suspected child abuse. Not reporting suspected child abuse is wrong for all of us, and illegal for teachers and other professionals who work with children.

Mandated Reporters
posted on: Dec 13, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Raising Awareness About Corporal Puni...

How to stop child abuse and domestic violence, stop teaching us. Watch this motivating video, by kids, for kids. A...

Raising Awareness About Corporal Punishment
posted on: Dec 12, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

The “success” of force re...

By Hope Loudon, first published in The Huffington Post This summer, Judge Gorcyca shocked the world when she berated...

The “success” of force reunification
posted on: Dec 11, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

The Man Who Raped Me Is Dead

I was raped as a teenager by a man my family and I trusted…our pastor. I was not the only person raped by him. There were many of us, but only two of us came forward and accused him. We were not successful in convicting him, neither one of us. When she called me and told me, “he’s dead,” we breathed a sigh together. “He can’t hurt anyone else.”

The Man Who Raped Me Is Dead
posted on: Dec 8, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

San Bernardino

We know he had an Adverse Childhood score of at least three (witness to domestic violence, psychological abuse and living with a parent’s unchecked mental illness). The ACE study provides a laundry list of causes and effects. Witness only domestic violence, or only one of ten other forms of trauma and you have an ACE score of one.

San Bernardino
posted on: Dec 7, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Unintentional Lessons

Four girls in Louisiana were recently suspended for protesting the school’s failure to act regarding a coach who made them uncomfortable. This tells kids they have no right to make decisions about their bodies, and no one will believe them anyway.

Unintentional Lessons
posted on: Dec 5, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

An Open Heart

Those of us who were abused as children have lived with closed hearts. It took me several years just to identify my feelings, because I had cut myself off from them for so long. We open our hearts by feeling what we feel. We open our hearts by being vulnerable, honest, and gentle.

An Open Heart
posted on: Dec 3, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Forgiving the Dad Who Beat Me

My friends will tell me that any message from my father really should be considered too little, too late. And yet,...

Forgiving the Dad Who Beat Me
posted on: Dec 1, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

How Do We Stop Domestic Violence?

Stop Abuse Campaign’s Research Director Barry Goldstein has recently released a new book: Domestic Violence,...

How Do We Stop Domestic Violence?
posted on: Nov 29, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

Abuse Begets Abuse

All forms of abuse- bullying, sexual abuse, domestic violence, and spanking, are related. And it affects all of us. It costs us all money, it diminishes the quality of all our lives, and every child we know. And all of us can help stop abuse. The first step is to learn about it.

Abuse Begets Abuse
posted on: Nov 28, 2015 | author: Melanie Blow

« Previous Entries

logo Hand

One Child Is Too Many

Join our mailing list to receive a weekly update of the top stories.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This

Help Spread The Word

Please share this post with your friends!

Shares