RECENT FROM Safe Homes
Bill Cosby joked, unapologetically, about “traditional” ways of raising kids with corporal punishment and fear. The crux of the joke was always “I was raised that way, and look how I turned out”. Now that the world has a better idea of how he actually turned out, his argument in favor of corporal punishment has fallen apart.
RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution
Today the world mourns the loss of Bobbi Kristina Brown, daughter of the late Whitney Houston. Bobbi was a victim of domestic violence several times over and in complex ways. The abusive relationship her mother endured harmed her, making it more likely she entered the abusive relationship that preceded her death.
RECENT FROM Pro Player Insiders
Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders and Andrew Willis of the Stop Abuse Campaign tackle the topic of child sexual abuse with the creator of the ACE study Dr. Felitti, survivor and advocate Matt Sandusky, survivor and filmmaker Johnna Janis, clinical & forensic psychologist Cheryl Arutt and former NFL player Al Chesley.
Staring into the bright clinical lights of the Very Intensive Care Unit in a hospital far from home. I’d swallowed 300 Tylenol PM and wished the world goodbye. Almost a week before. It was so predictable and therefore preventable. I tell the story for Child Abuse Prevention Month.
There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.
If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.
Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.
We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.
Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges
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It is important for businesses to understand the enormous benefits the Quincy Solution provides to the business community. Today many are unaware of the money that can be saved by ending our tolerance for men’s abuse of women.
When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.
Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.
The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.
The health and safety of children must be the first priority
The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?
Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.
An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.
This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?
Child abuse – The brain changer Science now shows how the abused children develop differently and grow up with...
July forth is a wonderful time for picnics, outdoor activities, family get togethers and unfortunately, opportunities for predators. When setting your plans for family and friends and little ones to gather and celebrate, keep safety in mind. Sunscreen and firework and water safety, are important, of course, but also important is safety from the harmful effects of child sexual abuse.
In August of 2005, I said three words that I swore to myself I would never say. Three words that would free me from a secret. Three words that would change everything.
“Pete molested me.”
The police and the Department of Children’s Services had a long history with the family of Jermyle Campbell. These same systemic breakdowns sentence five children every day to a preventable death. As ugly as these mistakes are, we need to look at them, and learn from them, so we can keep kids from dying.
The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Studies are revolutionary medical research that can change society in the most wonderful and fundamental ways. Nadine Burke Harris is a doctor who learned about ACE while treating patients at a clinic in a poor urban setting. She learned that domestic violence, child abuse and other traumas know no economic boundaries.
A “high conflict” divorce from an abusive spouse reads like a familiar cookie recipe on a bag of chocolate chips. The controlling abuser often follows the same high conflict litigation pattern to continue controlling their spouse, no matter which state they live in or which lawyer they choose.
Whether it’s mass shootings that grab the nation’s headlines or a tragedy down the street, it’s important to explain the headlines to children in a way that teaches them, rather than frighten them. In the wake of tragedy, how do you comfort your children? Chances are, you offer loving words, hold them close, answer questions, and guide them back to peacefulness.
The Catholic church has performed a masterful sleight of hand. As willing as the church may now be to dole out internal punishment, it is still fighting tooth and nail to keep the laws against child sexual abuse largely unenforceable. By maintaining Statutes of Limitations on child sexual abuse, a trauma victims statistically need over 21 years to discuss and report, they can effectively and silently ensure most abusers never see a day behind bars.
Another day, another shooting. Only this time, it is my town. Yesterday it was someone else’s home, but today, it is mine. Lives lost. Hearts broken. Peace shattered. It happened elsewhere yesterday, but today, it happened here. How do we stop it?
Five children die each day as a direct result of child abuse and neglect. After every death, we call for the blood of the abuser. We call for the blood of any spectators, facilitators, or CPS agent who was involved. And then we’re sated. We stop thinking about child abuse until the next tragedy, and in doing so we sentence more children to death.
In February 2015, a newly retired police officer from Harrison, NY, shot his two teen daughters while they were sleeping, killed the three family dogs and then turned the gun on himself. Guest author Jill Rosenfeld explains why some people are so shocked and confused that such heroes can also be violent murderers.
Today, during multidisciplinary rounds, we discussed one of our current patients. She had been in the hospital for over a month after sustaining devastating injuries in a motor vehicle crash. She is confined to her bed and requires a return to the operating room every three days for her large wound. The patient is described as difficult and demanding with major pain issues.
The Catholic Church has become good at reflexively saying they’ve mended their ways and no longer sexually abuse children. Indeed, stories of child sexual abuse within the church that are less than five years old are rare, making this story noteworthy .
Medical Practitioners: your colleagues brought the ACES study to the awareness of the general public. The current best practices for every patient, then, MUST include a screening for ACES. Their lives may depend on it.
So, what should you do if you’ve reached out for help because of abuse you’re experiencing, and you’re met with an unhelpful or hurtful response, whether it’s from a friend, family member, professional, or anyone else? Here are some suggestions for moving forward.
Mind Grappling Films and the Matthew Corozine Acting Studio in collaboration with Stand Up For Passion present: “What Matters to Me” | Here storyteller Dennis O. Tyson, a Jamaican by birth, shares his journey to find peace and happiness.
Cut the paper into strips and have each member of your family write as many ideas for fun activities as he or she can think of. Take turns picking an activity every day for the rest of summer, but don’t be surprised if by the end of this school break, you find yourself and your littles, wishing it would last just a bit longer.
In a month where stories of family and sexual violence by celebrities won’t fade from the headlines, we’re now learning about former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert, someone third in line from the president of the United States, and how he spent huge sums of money to silence someone he sexually abused as a child.