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RECENT FROM Safe Homes

Is Incest Funny?

Is Incest Funny?

Melanie Blow, an incest survivor, sent an open letter to Jimmy Kimmel about a joke he told about incest.
Describing incest as a “nightmare you may wake from, but never forget” Melanie defends Jimmy’s right to tell incest jokes, even bad ones, because incest is so common.

RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution

NFL Interview

NFL Interview

Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders hosted a roundtable discussion to talk about domestic abuse, how the league and commissioner Roger Goodell have handled the domestic violence cases, the Quincy Solution and what the league, players and all of us can do to help stop abuse.

RECENT FROM Safe Schools

Yes, you can hit my child

Yes, you can hit my child

The Darlington County School District policy permits administrators to paddle students with permission from the child’s parent or guardian.

Cutting NJ Deficits

THE FAILURE of Governor Christie and Democratic legislative leaders to find a constructive solution for the long- and short-term budget shortfalls led to our credit rating being downgraded, which will in turn exacerbate the problems with higher interest payments. We desperately need a solution that is politically feasible and realistic. The United States spends more than one trillion dollars annually as an unintended subsidy for domestic abusers. Implementation of best practices to prevent domestic violence would quickly save $500 billion annually.

Cutting NJ Deficits
posted on: Sep 9, 2014 | author: admin

Ray Rice Terminated

Today we are asking that people who never want to see a video like the one below please contact the NFL and ask them to take the pledge to end domestic violence.

Ray Rice Terminated
posted on: Sep 8, 2014 | author: admin

Hitting Kids

If a child doesn’t know how to read, we teach. If a child doesn’t know how to swim, we teach. If a child doesn’t know how to multiply, we teach. If a child doesn’t know how to behave, we…..Punish.

Hitting Kids
posted on: Sep 8, 2014 | author: admin

Faith Killing

The Tennessee Supreme Court will hear arguments today in the case of Jacqueline Crank, an East Tennessee woman sentenced to 11 months, 29 days of unsupervised probation after being convicted of child neglect in the 2002 cancer death her 15-year-old daughter, Jessica.

Faith Killing
posted on: Sep 4, 2014 | author: admin
Dear John

Dear John

posted on: Sep 4, 2014 | author: admin

An open letter to Congressman John Kline and the House Committee on Education and the Workforce asking why corporal punishment, such as paddling, is still legal at public schools when it lacks evidence to support it?

Speaking the Unspeakable: Sadomasochistic Child Abuse

Speaking the Unspeakable: Sadomasochistic Chi...

posted on: Sep 2, 2014 | author: admin

Sadomasochistic child abuse is already prohibited under sexual abuse statutes in most US states. At the same time, corporal punishment remains legal in public schools in 19 states, and in private schools, church-run events, and overnight camps in many others. But in an era when parents share a healthy skepticism about the motives of everyone who works with- or volunteers to be around children, how is it not time that we dare to consider – and discuss – what we really know about the people who are seeking permission to paddle our kids?

NFL Get’s It Right!

NFL Get’s It Right!

posted on: Sep 2, 2014 | author: admin

Barry Goldstein praises the NFL’s good decision that sends a strong message that domestic violence is not to be tolerated – but he calls on the NFL to go further and become a leader in domestic violence prevention through supporting The Quincy Solution.

How big does the ripple grow?

How big does the ripple grow?

posted on: Aug 29, 2014 | author: admin

Though the statistics are overwhelming, the road to ending abuse is not so complicated after all. Child abuse stops when WE stop it through prevention, intervention, education and recovery.
Child abuse is everybody’s problem. Stand up. Speak out. Be a part of the solution.

Make some noise! Sign the bill Governor!

Make some noise! Sign the bill Governor!

posted on: Aug 24, 2014 | author: admin

When everyone in a community with any role in dealing with domestic violence is given a solid understanding of it, the community gets safer.

CPS: Re abusing the powerless victims of child abuse

CPS: Re abusing the powerless victims of chil...

posted on: Aug 23, 2014 | author: admin

If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.

Punishing with praise

Punishing with praise

posted on: Aug 22, 2014 | author: admin

To punish or not to punish? We also spend a lot of time debating that issue. But do we ever really talk about “catching” our children in the midst of wonderful behavior? Or even good behavior, for that matter? How about a little time spent discussing the power of praise?

CAPTA 40 years later

CAPTA 40 years later

posted on: Aug 21, 2014 | author: admin

The ACE study showed that all child abuse is a matter of life and death. The Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) turns 40 this year. It’s birth represented a milestone in our accepting of children’s rights and what is necessary to keep them healthy. After 40 years, CAPTA is still an essential tool to protect children, although newer research shows we’re harming children if we rely on it too heavily.

Medical History

Medical History

posted on: Aug 21, 2014 | author: admin

Despite what your attorney may tell you about how it will make you “look” if you refuse to release your records, consider this point, particularly when it comes to custody/visitation: if you were so “crazy” that you are not a fit parent, why did your partner never pursue this claim when you were together?

What does safe feel like?

What does safe feel like?

posted on: Aug 20, 2014 | author: admin

Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.

Did I raise a bully?

Did I raise a bully?

posted on: Aug 15, 2014 | author: admin

We can stem the tide of bullying by not acting like bullies ourselves. If children learn what they live, maybe it is time we take a look at our own personal responsibility for the bullying epidemic.

DV reform goes to Washington

DV reform goes to Washington

posted on: Aug 14, 2014 | author: admin

Many people have asked how my meetings in Washington went so I wanted to provide an update to my earlier article. In general the meetings were productive and I am encouraged by the response. I suspect the needed reforms will not come with the urgency that is necessary, but I do feel we are making progress.

Genie, you’re free

Genie, you’re free

posted on: Aug 14, 2014 | author: admin

I look back and wonder what, exactly, saved me that day. I had always had the love of friends and family. I had, and still have, a strong faith. I had an inner fire, a determination to do good in the world and help others. But that day, I felt as though I would never be able to help myself or, more gut-wrenchingly, my children. Many times, a survivor of abuse sees no other way out but this one.

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