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RECENT FROM Safe Homes

Marcy’s Diner

Marcy’s Diner

Everyone has an opinion about the Marcy’s Diner incident. Why were we so quick to form them? Why didn’t we resolve to learn from it? And why didn’t it become a discussion about helping people?

RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution

Courts vs Kids- part 2

Courts vs Kids- part 2

Currently, family court staff often use incorrect understanding of family violence when they make custody decisions. This article, part of a seven-part series, looks at what those beliefs are, why they are wrong, and what happens when court staff use them to decide on a child’s fate.

RECENT FROM Pro Player Insiders

Tackling Child Sexual Abu...

Tackling Child Sexual Abuse

Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders and Andrew Willis of the Stop Abuse Campaign tackle the topic of child sexual abuse with the creator of the ACE study Dr. Felitti, survivor and advocate Matt Sandusky, survivor and filmmaker Johnna Janis, clinical & forensic psychologist Cheryl Arutt and former NFL player Al Chesley.

Surviving Myself

Staring into the bright clinical lights of the Very Intensive Care Unit in a hospital far from home. I’d swallowed 300 Tylenol PM and wished the world goodbye. Almost a week before. It was so predictable and therefore preventable. I tell the story for Child Abuse Prevention Month.

Surviving Myself
posted on: Mar 29, 2015 | author: admin

Abusers follow patterns

There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.

Abusers follow patterns
posted on: Sep 10, 2014 | author: admin

CPS: Re abusing the powerless victims...

If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.

CPS: Re abusing the powerless victims of child abuse
posted on: Aug 23, 2014 | author: admin

What does safe feel like?

Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.

What does safe feel like?
posted on: Aug 20, 2014 | author: admin

A beautiful lie about child abuse

We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.

A beautiful lie about child abuse
posted on: Aug 13, 2014 | author: admin

Re-abusing children in court

Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges

Re-abusing children in court
posted on: Aug 7, 2014 | author: admin

Why hitting a child is legal

Related posts: What Do I do If I See Someone Hitting A Child Pope Francis there is no dignity in hitting Psychologist...

Why hitting a child is legal
posted on: Jul 26, 2014 | author: admin

Stopping murders with The Quincy Solu...

Related posts: Michigan NOW Endorses The Quincy Solution A tale of two murders Defeating domestic abuse: The Quincy...

Stopping murders with The Quincy Solution
posted on: Jul 14, 2014 | author: admin

How stopping abuse saves billions

It is important for businesses to understand the enormous benefits the Quincy Solution provides to the business community. Today many are unaware of the money that can be saved by ending our tolerance for men’s abuse of women.

How stopping abuse saves billions
posted on: Jun 23, 2014 | author: admin

Is spanking, abuse?

When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.

Is spanking, abuse?
posted on: Jun 9, 2014 | author: admin

Paying billions to be abused

Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.

Paying billions to be abused
posted on: May 19, 2014 | author: admin

The Quincy Solution

The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.

The Quincy Solution
posted on: May 12, 2014 | author: admin

Sign and support the Safe Child Act

The health and safety of children must be the first priority

The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?

Sign and support the Safe Child Act
posted on: Mar 29, 2014 | author: admin

What’s your ACE score??

Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.

What’s your ACE score??
posted on: Mar 5, 2014 | author: admin

Suffer the children. Custody courts t...

An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.

Suffer the children. Custody courts take no mercy
posted on: Jan 4, 2014 | author: admin

Why do people abuse?

This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?

Why do people abuse?
posted on: Jul 23, 2013 | author: admin

Child Abuse Changes the Brain

Child abuse – The brain changer  Science now shows how the abused children develop differently and grow up with...

Child Abuse Changes the Brain
posted on: Dec 9, 2011 | author: admin

The Right to do What’s Right

The Connecticut Supreme Court just upheld a million-dollar verdict against a priest, and upheld the constitutionality of Statute of Limitations reforms for child sexual abuse. Child sexual abuse costs taxpayers huge sums of money- over $200,000 in direct costs per survivor. Shifting the cost from taxpayers onto guilty parties and negligent institutions makes sense. It protects children, not their rapists.

The Right to do What’s Right
posted on: Jul 6, 2015 | author: ajswillis1

American Children Have A Right To Liv...

No doubt you are at least certain they are in the United States. Not so for many parents whose American children are living in countries all over the world, against their will, thanks to American judges who
shipped the children like luggage to live in nations where the children have no rights as Americans.

American Children Have A Right To Live On U.S. Soil
posted on: Jul 5, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

Happy Healthy Forth of July!

July forth is a wonderful time for picnics, outdoor activities, family get togethers and unfortunately, opportunities for predators. When setting your plans for family and friends and little ones to gather and celebrate, keep safety in mind. Sunscreen and firework and water safety, are important, of course, but also important is safety from the harmful effects of child sexual abuse.

Happy Healthy Forth of July!
posted on: Jul 3, 2015 | author: ajswillis1

Everyone has a story and Confession i...

In August of 2005, I said three words that I swore to myself I would never say. Three words that would free me from a secret. Three words that would change everything.
“Pete molested me.”

Everyone has a story and Confession is mine.
posted on: Jul 3, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

RIP Jermyle Campbell

The police and the Department of Children’s Services had a long history with the family of Jermyle Campbell. These same systemic breakdowns sentence five children every day to a preventable death. As ugly as these mistakes are, we need to look at them, and learn from them, so we can keep kids from dying.

RIP Jermyle Campbell
posted on: Jul 1, 2015 | author: ajswillis1

How Childhood Trauma Affects Health A...

The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) Studies are revolutionary medical research that can change society in the most wonderful and fundamental ways. Nadine Burke Harris is a doctor who learned about ACE while treating patients at a clinic in a poor urban setting. She learned that domestic violence, child abuse and other traumas know no economic boundaries.

How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across A Lifetime
posted on: Jul 1, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

Recipe for Disaster

A “high conflict” divorce from an abusive spouse reads like a familiar cookie recipe on a bag of chocolate chips. The controlling abuser often follows the same high conflict litigation pattern to continue controlling their spouse, no matter which state they live in or which lawyer they choose.

Recipe for Disaster
posted on: Jun 30, 2015 | author: ajswillis1

Be A Helper!

Whether it’s mass shootings that grab the nation’s headlines or a tragedy down the street, it’s important to explain the headlines to children in a way that teaches them, rather than frighten them. In the wake of tragedy, how do you comfort your children? Chances are, you offer loving words, hold them close, answer questions, and guide them back to peacefulness.

Be A Helper!
posted on: Jun 27, 2015 | author: ajswillis1

2 Bishops Resign in Minnesota Over Se...

The Catholic church has performed a masterful sleight of hand. As willing as the church may now be to dole out internal punishment, it is still fighting tooth and nail to keep the laws against child sexual abuse largely unenforceable. By maintaining Statutes of Limitations on child sexual abuse, a trauma victims statistically need over 21 years to discuss and report, they can effectively and silently ensure most abusers never see a day behind bars.

2 Bishops Resign in Minnesota Over Sexual Abuse Scandal
posted on: Jun 21, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

Another Day. Another Shooting.

Another day, another shooting. Only this time, it is my town. Yesterday it was someone else’s home, but today, it is mine. Lives lost. Hearts broken. Peace shattered. It happened elsewhere yesterday, but today, it happened here. How do we stop it?

Another Day. Another Shooting.
posted on: Jun 18, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

RIP Sophia O’Neill

Five children die each day as a direct result of child abuse and neglect. After every death, we call for the blood of the abuser. We call for the blood of any spectators, facilitators, or CPS agent who was involved. And then we’re sated. We stop thinking about child abuse until the next tragedy, and in doing so we sentence more children to death.

RIP Sophia O’Neill
posted on: Jun 18, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

Deja Vu…All Over Again!

In February 2015, a newly retired police officer from Harrison, NY, shot his two teen daughters while they were sleeping, killed the three family dogs and then turned the gun on himself. Guest author Jill Rosenfeld explains why some people are so shocked and confused that such heroes can also be violent murderers.

Deja Vu…All Over Again!
posted on: Jun 18, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

Trauma-informed care and the hospital...

Today, during multidisciplinary rounds, we discussed one of our current patients. She had been in the hospital for over a month after sustaining devastating injuries in a motor vehicle crash. She is confined to her bed and requires a return to the operating room every three days for her large wound. The patient is described as difficult and demanding with major pain issues.

Trauma-informed care and the hospital trauma patient
posted on: Jun 18, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

A Bishop, A Blackmailer And A Duggar

The Catholic Church has become good at reflexively saying they’ve mended their ways and no longer sexually abuse children. Indeed, stories of child sexual abuse within the church that are less than five years old are rare, making this story noteworthy .

A Bishop, A Blackmailer And A Duggar
posted on: Jun 15, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

Medical Community: Wake Up And Screen...

Medical Practitioners: your colleagues brought the ACES study to the awareness of the general public. The current best practices for every patient, then, MUST include a screening for ACES. Their lives may depend on it.

Medical Community: Wake Up And Screen For Trauma!
posted on: Jun 15, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

When help is NOT on the way, then wha...

So, what should you do if you’ve reached out for help because of abuse you’re experiencing, and you’re met with an unhelpful or hurtful response, whether it’s from a friend, family member, professional, or anyone else? Here are some suggestions for moving forward.

When help is NOT on the way, then what?
posted on: Jun 15, 2015 | author: admin

What Matters To Me | Dennis O. Tyson...

Mind Grappling Films and the Matthew Corozine Acting Studio in collaboration with Stand Up For Passion present: “What Matters to Me” | Here storyteller Dennis O. Tyson, a Jamaican by birth, shares his journey to find peace and happiness.

What Matters To Me  |  Dennis  O. Tyson
posted on: Jun 13, 2015 | author: Andrew Willis

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