RECENT FROM Safe Homes
Still confused about adverse childhood experiences and how to prevent them? Lala Fogarty has some practical tips.
RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution
Barry Goldstein appeared on NPR station Charlotte Talks this morning to discuss domestic violence. A subject that is receiving more media attention now than it ever has. In part thanks to the behavior of some NFL players.
RECENT FROM Pro Player Insiders
Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders and Andrew Willis of the Stop Abuse Campaign tackle the topic of child sexual abuse with the creator of the ACE study Dr. Felitti, survivor and advocate Matt Sandusky, survivor and filmmaker Johnna Janis, clinical & forensic psychologist Cheryl Arutt and former NFL player Al Chesley.
About 58,000 children a year are ordered to have unsupervised contact with an abusive parent in the United States — over twice the yearly rate of new childhood cancer, according to the Leadership Council on Child Abuse and Interpersonal Violence, a non-profit organization that promotes the ethical application of psychology
For those who are familiar with my story, you know that I am intimately familiar with how it feels to lose a child. I also know the pain of learning that your child was murdered as the result of a horribly abusive incident. I simply cannot understand how a man whose child was murdered in this violent way can justify raising his hand to another one of his children. As I read more and more about the story, I felt as though I had entered some strange alternate reality. I couldn’t believe how bold this man was to believe he would not have to face the law after what he did.
There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.
If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.
Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.
We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.
Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges
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It is common rhetoric to say we should end domestic violence. We may not be able to prevent all domestic violence tactics or even all domestic violence crimes, but we know how to quickly create a massive reduction in domestic violence crimes and especially domestic violence homicide. How do we get from here to there?
It is important for businesses to understand the enormous benefits the Quincy Solution provides to the business community. Today many are unaware of the money that can be saved by ending our tolerance for men’s abuse of women.
When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.
Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.
The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.
The health and safety of children must be the first priority
The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?
Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.
An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.
This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?
Child abuse – The brain changer Science now shows how the abused children develop differently and grow up with...
As I thought about what sort of transformative project to highlight for this month’s series, I stumbled across an award-winning project called be smart. be well. Life stories, education, and ideas are offered about a variety of health topics that are related to staying healthy and well – things like bullying, addiction and STDs
If Major League Baseball consults with experts and follows current research, they will create a response to domestic violence that is based on accountability and monitoring.
A simple story of one family can change the world. Surely this is in part the message of Christmas. An unmarried woman is told that she is will soon bear a son. But will we do everything in our power to protect the child from betrayal and trauma at the hands of those who are charged with his protection?
Doesn’t telling your story about what happened to you keep you there? Aubrey Cole explains why you should name it, own it, and share it.
Dr. Bob Hartley and Dr. Frazier Crane entertained television audiences for many years playing a psychologist and psychiatrist respectively. In all of their episodes not once did we hear them discuss parental alienation or domestic violence. Barry Goldstein explains how that is harming our children.
Happy New Year from all of us to all of you. Will you be a new you a new you? How about taking one day at a time and being the best parent we can be each moment of each day? Lala asks if we could learn a little at a time and rise to the challenge of being the person that we hope we are raising.
Stephen was the one, for me. The one who embodied all the failures of a system so broken that to heal it would take far more than the casts that heal the literal broken bones of the children growing up within it. Does it need to be this way?
Our work educating communities and policymakers is leading to real world changes. Once implemented, children immediately become safer, and less dependent on taxpayer contributions, for their health, human services, education and criminal justice.
AFTER spending two years studying services for domestic violence survivors, I was surprised to realize that one of the most common barriers to women’s safety was something I had never considered before: the high value our culture places on two-parent families.
What are your children hearing from you? Maybe more than you think.
My friend told me her 19-year-old daughter has a 19-year-old boyfriend. It’s what she said next that made my blood run cold.
Studies shows that physical punishment is used more than most people believe, and that it often escalates into what is legally defined as abuse. When it comes to hitting children there are no proven safety guidelines to follow. So why do we do it?
Are you going to be able to set the example your children need over the holidays. Read Lala’s tips for handling that holiday stress.
What do the holidays mean to you. For some they are the worst part of the year. Melanie Blow provides tips for survivors and their friends on surviving the holidays. Happy holidays!
The story occurs in the context of a huge national story about racism and the killing of unarmed black civilians by police in Ferguson, Missouri and Staten Island. Nothing should take away from the courage and sacrifice made by the police officers who were murdered. Barry Goldstein discusses the domestic violence connection to this tragedy because it is often overlooked.
One year, two months and two days ago, Carolyn Spring’s great grandson Eain Brooks died from traumatic brain injuries, caused by his mother’s boyfriend, Matthew Kuzdzal. He was convicted of murder and given a long sentence. Now she works to spare other families the agony she has been through.
Learning the facts about sexual abuse is the first step to protecting your littles during this busy holiday season. If we know the facts, we know how to protect our kids before they become statistics on an unforgiving table of data.