RECENT FROM Safe Homes
July forth is a wonderful time for picnics, outdoor activities, family get togethers and unfortunately, opportunities for predators. When setting your plans for family and friends and little ones to gather and celebrate, keep safety in mind. Sunscreen and firework and water safety, are important, of course, but also important is safety from the harmful effects of child sexual abuse.
RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution
No doubt you are at least certain they are in the United States. Not so for many parents whose American children are living in countries all over the world, against their will, thanks to American judges who
shipped the children like luggage to live in nations where the children have no rights as Americans.
RECENT FROM Pro Player Insiders
Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders and Andrew Willis of the Stop Abuse Campaign tackle the topic of child sexual abuse with the creator of the ACE study Dr. Felitti, survivor and advocate Matt Sandusky, survivor and filmmaker Johnna Janis, clinical & forensic psychologist Cheryl Arutt and former NFL player Al Chesley.
Staring into the bright clinical lights of the Very Intensive Care Unit in a hospital far from home. I’d swallowed 300 Tylenol PM and wished the world goodbye. Almost a week before. It was so predictable and therefore preventable. I tell the story for Child Abuse Prevention Month.
There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.
If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.
Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.
We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.
Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges
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It is important for businesses to understand the enormous benefits the Quincy Solution provides to the business community. Today many are unaware of the money that can be saved by ending our tolerance for men’s abuse of women.
When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.
Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.
The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.
The health and safety of children must be the first priority
The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?
Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.
An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.
This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?
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Mind Grappling Films and the Matthew Corozine Acting Studio in collaboration with Stand Up For Passion present: “What Matters to Me” | Here storyteller Lynesha Charles-Barrat, a Trinidad born child sex abuse survivor, introduces herself.
“An Open Secret” does a fantastic job at pulling the universal elements of child sexual abuse out of an obscure sub-set of cases. And as such, it is both bone-chilling and enlightening. A parent, or anyone with an interest in the subject, stands to learn a lot from it.
The Greenwich Times is reporting that a domestic cat who was involved in a three-hour standoff with its Stamford owners led to a 911 call seeking police help. The Stamford CT man called 911 at 1:30 a.m. Wednesday seeking help after his 7.5-pound cat attacked and bit him, leaving him and his wife fearful of re-entering their house.
Whatever our personal views on Bruce Jenner and his transformation, what if we could find a way that someone else’s sexual orientation or gender or life choices weren’t an issue for our kids as they grow up and grow older?
If you believe that stopping abortions is such a vital moral issue that it justifies a fundamental interference with woman’s health and privacy, why wouldn’t you seek to prevent abortions by implementing proven practices to improve women’s lives by taking effective actions to prevent child sexual abuse?
Michigan NOW members unanimously voted to endorse the Quincy Solution and its model legislation, The Safe Child Act, for passage in Michigan.
Children’s advocates from across the nation are mourning the death of Joseph “Beau” Biden, who used his short political career to establish some of the most complete child protection laws in the nation in his home state of Delaware.
Mind Grappling Films and the Matthew Corozine Acting Studio in collaboration with Stand Up For Passion present: “What Matters to Me” | Here storyteller Matthew Josepher, a native New Yorker born addicted to heroin, introduces himself.
Knowing that I speak openly about the need to end spanking, people often ask me for advice on how respond to a parent who threatens or spanks their child in public. Their fear of course, is the offending parent will strike back with the classic response, “mind your own business” or “who the hell are you to tell me how to deal with my child!” And then later on, is the child the worse for it?
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Last year, an Oklahoma family court judge ordered that a six-year-old girl’s father be given sole custody even though he’s a registered sex offender. The decision was so egregious it made headlines around the world, but experts in protecting children call it just another example of judicial sex trafficking in the United States
After years of heartache and loneliness, I realized the hurt my abuser left me wasn’t mine. So, I began the process of giving it back. From that moment, my life changed forever.
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In this horrible tragedy lies an opportunity to deal with the issue of child sexual abuse, an opportunity to shed light on a crime that normally we keep hidden in the shadows.
Chicago Bears owner, George McCaskey attempted to judge whether he could trust Ray McDonald to avoid further domestic violence offenses just by meeting with him and judging his sincerity. This is the same approach routinely relied on by psychologists when they perform an evaluation. The problem is that abusers are skilled manipulators.
Based on the Safety Strategies booklet, we offer the following safety planning suggestions to help people who are currently facing safety risks due to a current or former abusive relationship
While pregnant, Gretchen experienced the first of many episodes of physical abuse. She was punched in the stomach. Increasingly violent attacks soon followed. In one dramatic attack, Gretchen was strangled nearly to death on their bed while her children were in the next room.