RECENT FROM Safe Homes
Like it or not, acknowledge it or don’t, child abuse affects the world around us – each and every one of us. Child abuse creates a ripple effect, and spreads from both the abused and the abuser, impacting our world in ways we have only begun to understand. The more we know about child abuse, the better we can stop it.
RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution
While pregnant, Gretchen experienced the first of many episodes of physical abuse. She was punched in the stomach. Increasingly violent attacks soon followed. In one dramatic attack, Gretchen was strangled nearly to death on their bed while her children were in the next room.
RECENT FROM Pro Player Insiders
Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders and Andrew Willis of the Stop Abuse Campaign tackle the topic of child sexual abuse with the creator of the ACE study Dr. Felitti, survivor and advocate Matt Sandusky, survivor and filmmaker Johnna Janis, clinical & forensic psychologist Cheryl Arutt and former NFL player Al Chesley.
Staring into the bright clinical lights of the Very Intensive Care Unit in a hospital far from home. I’d swallowed 300 Tylenol PM and wished the world goodbye. Almost a week before. It was so predictable and therefore preventable. I tell the story for Child Abuse Prevention Month.
There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.
If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.
Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.
We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.
Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges
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It is important for businesses to understand the enormous benefits the Quincy Solution provides to the business community. Today many are unaware of the money that can be saved by ending our tolerance for men’s abuse of women.
When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.
Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.
The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.
The health and safety of children must be the first priority
The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?
Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.
An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.
This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?
Child abuse – The brain changer Science now shows how the abused children develop differently and grow up with...
Ten years ago, New York tried to join the ranks of states like California that had eliminated the state’s Statute of Limitations (SOL) for child sexual abuse. A decade later, well-funded battles by the Roman Catholic Church have rendered New York among the most sex-offender friendly states in the nation.
Top ten things your child LOVES about YOU! Well, I mean, I can’t really say that for certain, but I do have a reasonably good imagination, and I would imagine at least these ten things would make every child’s list!
Like all tools of oppression, unaccountable language is conditioned into our psyches, taught and learned as appropriate vocabulary and in socially acceptable sentence structure. Thus, unaccountable language is part of everyday parlance of people acting in complete good faith in trying to end men’s violence against women.
Only in a broken court system could an undisputably wonderful mother like Kelly Rutherford lose custody because her ex-partner did something that made him ineligible to return to the United States. Please sign Kelly’s White House petition so common sense may once more prevail.
When Dr. Robert Anda began giving presentations about the CDC-Kaiser Permanente Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study after its first publication in 1998, he often asked people in the audience to anonymously fill out a 10-question ACE survey. He found that people in the helping professions had higher ACE scores.
If another child dies before the community forgets, leaders do something. They usually act as though a child’s murder by a guardian is something we couldn’t predict or prevent, and that doing anything is better than nothing. But that’s not true. Improvements in public policy could have prevented Gavriel’s murder.
Asadah Kirkland of Beating Black Kids explains why it is time to raise our skills not our hands lest kids throw rocks to express themselves for yet another 40 years.
We know more about the sanitation of the restaurant down the street than about the risk our children face in the schools we trust to take care of them every day. With any abuse event, knowing how and why is essential to prevention. Despite 4 decades of abuse, Horace Mann refuses to investigate or cooperate to learn the truth. We expect our schools to be accountable.
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The US Justice Department has now released reports that confirm widespread use of false and misleading scientific testimony in criminal and custody cases. The criminal courts are moving aggressively to correct mistaken decisions. What will the nation’s Family Courts do to help children whose lives they have placed in jeopardy?
What if we took the April 30th NO SPANK CHALLENGE? Not forever, just for one day, just to test the waters and see where a non-spanking lifestyle could take us. One day is too long, you say? How about one hour? Then stretch that into two hours and maybe even three. Can you give up spanking for any period of time to see if it makes a difference? It would make a difference. Give it a try. Why give it a try, you ask? Keep reading.
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Earlier this month, a previously obscure piece of legislation, the Religious Freedoms Restoration Act (RFRA), became synonymous with behaving badly in the name of religion. What most people didn’t realize was that the Milwaukee diocese had already tried to use the RFRA as an excuse for remarkably bad behavior.
Prior to becoming born-again, my father would whip my brother and me much the way his father had beaten him: snatching his belt from his slacks in a fit of pique and then raining lashes until his tension was relieved. It was a pastor who taught him the “right” way, which involved beating his children for the tiniest transgressions, reading scripture before, during, and after punishment, and the necessity of continuing and escalating until his children were reduced to submissive, plaintively whimpering heaps.
The Quincy Solution is a new and innovative plan that provides enormous benefits. You have the platform to make the public aware of the benefits it will provide. As President you can help change millions of lives for the better while stimulating our economy. Most of all millions of children will live longer and healthier lives. Isn’t that why you entered public service? And Charlotte will be so proud.
Good public policy is only made by looking at facts, not convenient worldviews. Fact number one is that most parents love their children. They love their children enough that they usually put a lot of work into coming up with a parenting plan that works for their children. And if they’re both active, engaged, loving parents they can figure out what that plan will look like better than a judge.
Summertime and we think about camps and summer activities for our littles. We think about proper nutrition, a staff trained in CPR, and proper staff to child ratios, but what about keeping our little artists, musicians and athletes safe from sexual abuse this summer?