RECENT FROM Safe Homes
The Seattle Diocese recently released the names of 77 priests credibly accused of sexually abusing children. The release was years after advocates recommended that course of action, but it wasn’t forced by court order, either. It’s good PR, but the Church still has much to hide.
RECENT FROM The Quincy Solution
The Boston Globe recently did a major story on the dysfunction in America’s family court. This expose only tells a fraction of the story, and this piece provides context to better understand the issue and its history.
RECENT FROM Pro Player Insiders
Melissa Mahler of Pro Player Insiders and Andrew Willis of the Stop Abuse Campaign tackle the topic of child sexual abuse with the creator of the ACE study Dr. Felitti, survivor and advocate Matt Sandusky, survivor and filmmaker Johnna Janis, clinical & forensic psychologist Cheryl Arutt and former NFL player Al Chesley.
Staring into the bright clinical lights of the Very Intensive Care Unit in a hospital far from home. I’d swallowed 300 Tylenol PM and wished the world goodbye. Almost a week before. It was so predictable and therefore preventable. I tell the story for Child Abuse Prevention Month.
There is a mathematical theory based in fractal geometry called “Chaos Theory”. At its most simplistic level, it says that if you look long enough and carefully at what looks like total chaos, patterns begin to emerge. This is exactly how I help my clients in coping with their court cases against an abuser.
If someone asked you your definition of credible evidence, what would you say? Would you say that medical records, photographs, psychologist’s report, and even a child’s statement is credible evidence? This agency says no, this is not credible evidence, because if it was the reports would have to be indicated.
Now, the ACE research establishes that exposure to domestic violence creates catastrophic health consequences for children. The pressure from professionals who make their income responding to domestic violence custody cases, normal preferences for the status quo and reluctance to acknowledge widespread failures from existing practices are obstacles to creating the reforms needed to protect children.
We’ve all heard “it’s easier to believe a beautiful lie than an ugly truth”. It’s hard to imagine any beauty in the notion of strangers lurking behind every lamp post in America, desperate to kidnap children. But it is more attractive than the truth about who actually harms kids.
Family court is not the only judicial system where judges are blaming and re-victimizing the victims. Criminal court judges have been doing the same thing. This is never more evident than in rape cases where sexism and blaming the victim has become almost second nature to judges
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It is important for businesses to understand the enormous benefits the Quincy Solution provides to the business community. Today many are unaware of the money that can be saved by ending our tolerance for men’s abuse of women.
When we discuss spanking we often get the reaction that there is a difference between spanking and abuse. We agree with that. In most states it is perfectly legal to spank your child. This doesn’t make it good for children nor does it stop it from being abusive. We’re not seeking to judge we are seeking to educate. Spanking your children, even with love, actually especially with love, causes long term harm. There are better ways.
We like the way this article on Vox explains it.
Barry Goldstein shows how The Quincy Solution saves America $500 Billion every year by stopping domestic violence crime. The Academy on Violence and Abuse estimates that we spend between $333-750 billion per year on health costs made necessary by domestic violence- much of this is saved when communities implement The Quincy Solution though.
The Quincy Solution is a group of best practices that will dramatically reduce domestic violence crime and child abuse. It means that women and children can be safe in their homes. The Quincy Solution will make our society happier, healthier and richer. Battered women and children will have the opportunity to reach their potential free from the obstacles imposed by abusive men. And the Quincy Solution will save the United States $500 billion every year.
The health and safety of children must be the first priority
The thrust of our Safe Child Act is that courts must make the health and safety of children the first priority in any decision about child custody and visitation. Although there is a long history of society treating children like property, it is hard to imagine that any other consideration could take precedence in the 21st century. What could courts possibly be thinking when they place children in jeopardy in order to accomplish objectives that are far less important?
Barry Goldstein shows how research can stop domestic violence and save America’s taxpayers $500 billion every year.
One of the most important research studies about the impact of domestic violence on children began as a project to treat morbidly obese patients and help them lose substantial amounts of weight by eating no food but taking supplements to satisfy their nutritional needs. Some patients failed to lose the expected weight because they did not follow the protocol, but it was successful patients who were the ones to drop out of the program.
An alarming percentage of the 74 million children in the United States are in jeopardy, living with physical abuse, sexual trauma, emotional pain, and/or neglect. Nearly 6 million of them are involved in reports of child abuse every year, although fewer and fewer are being protected. 22% live in poverty We asked leading domestic violence expert Barry Goldstein for the top 10 ways we could know the custody courts are broken.
This is no easy task, and experts have spent decades studying the nuances of the human psyche to figure out what makes a person abusive and why people abuse. Are there core personality traits which predispose people toward abuse, or is abuse a learned behavior?
Child abuse – The brain changer Science now shows how the abused children develop differently and grow up with...
As opiate addiction rises in the United States, so does the rise in infants born addicted to the drugs. The proposed solution- ensuring consistent reporting to CPS after these babies are born- is not likely to prove effective. CPS has some fundamental flaws and is consistently over-burdened. Maternal home visiting is a very good solution to the problem, and is being completely ignored.
The Diocese of Rockville Center is being sued under public nuisance statutes for not disclosing the names of 66 priests credibly accused of sexually abusing children, and one of the is accused of abusing another minor. While this is a victory for advocates against child sexual abuse, it it horrible that “nuisance” statutes are the only laws that can be used to protect children in this circumstance.
Our civic culture is premised on trust. People must believe that the government is doing its job, and if it isn’t, that the culprit(s) will be held accountable. That is why on June 24, 2015, when Gorcyca sent the three Tsimhoni children to juvenile hall for contempt of court, people around the world took to social media to protest her actions.
The holidays are supposed to be joyous. But they are undeniably stressful. There are things you can do to mitigate the effect of the stress on kids, and on yourself.
Survivors of child abuse learn to survive by not being present in their own bodies and in their relationships with other people. This is useful while surviving abuse, but it is harmful to adult relationships. Survivors can learn to live in the present, if they’re mindful of learning from their past
In the name of “best interests of the child” Kelly Rutherford’s children have been separated from their primary attachment figure and sent to live overseas. This was not in their best interest, and modern research proves that. Kelly’s case illustrates so much of what is wrong with custody courts.
Every major metropolitan area in NY has reported a horrifying act of child abuse within a one-week period. New York refuses to invest in Healthy Families NY, which does an excellent job of preventing much abuse from starting. We cannot be shocked at the horrific consequences of abuse when we refuse to prevent it.
In two months, three teachers in the same Florida school were arrested for not reporting suspected child abuse. Not reporting suspected child abuse is wrong for all of us, and illegal for teachers and other professionals who work with children.
How to stop child abuse and domestic violence, stop teaching us. Watch this motivating video, by kids, for kids. A...
By Hope Loudon, first published in The Huffington Post This summer, Judge Gorcyca shocked the world when she berated...
I was raped as a teenager by a man my family and I trusted…our pastor. I was not the only person raped by him. There were many of us, but only two of us came forward and accused him. We were not successful in convicting him, neither one of us. When she called me and told me, “he’s dead,” we breathed a sigh together. “He can’t hurt anyone else.”
We know he had an Adverse Childhood score of at least three (witness to domestic violence, psychological abuse and living with a parent’s unchecked mental illness). The ACE study provides a laundry list of causes and effects. Witness only domestic violence, or only one of ten other forms of trauma and you have an ACE score of one.
Four girls in Louisiana were recently suspended for protesting the school’s failure to act regarding a coach who made them uncomfortable. This tells kids they have no right to make decisions about their bodies, and no one will believe them anyway.
Those of us who were abused as children have lived with closed hearts. It took me several years just to identify my feelings, because I had cut myself off from them for so long. We open our hearts by feeling what we feel. We open our hearts by being vulnerable, honest, and gentle.
My friends will tell me that any message from my father really should be considered too little, too late. And yet,...
Stop Abuse Campaign’s Research Director Barry Goldstein has recently released a new book: Domestic Violence,...
All forms of abuse- bullying, sexual abuse, domestic violence, and spanking, are related. And it affects all of us. It costs us all money, it diminishes the quality of all our lives, and every child we know. And all of us can help stop abuse. The first step is to learn about it.